We are SO excited about the things the Lord has shown us this weekend!! There are many good things coming our way, which we should be able to blog about in the next couple of weeks or so. All I can say is that it will take our family to a whole new level…uncharted waters…a place we have never dreamed possible before. It isn’t because of anything we have done…it is only God!

Also, since we have picked up a few more followers lately, I thought a recap of who is in our family would be great for the newbies who have recently jointed us.

We have 12 children at home right now and have already raised 6 for a total of 18!! The children at home range in age from 13 down to 7. We have 5 children we adopted from Haiti as infants. One child adopted as a toddler/pre-schooler from Sierra Leone, Africa. Two children from Liberia, 2 children from Ghana and 2 children from Ohio. Six of our children have come through disrupted adoptions where for one reason or another their first adoptions didn’t work out. Several of our children have RAD, but we are working on it and they are doing great!

We homeschool using a variety of curriculum. For math we use Math-U-See, for language we use Abeka until 9th grade, then we use Switched on Schoolhouse on the computer. The younger set of children use Konos, which is a unit study approach, and the older children use Sonlight AND Switched on Schoolhouse.

We live on 18 acres in rural Idaho where the sunsets are beautiful and the neighbors still look out for one another. I love being home with my children, although the training can get intense sometimes.

More later….

There have been many ups and downs during the past month and a half…mostly downs. My life continued to spiral as I started to look at my little corner of the world and no where else. I focused on the small little things and not the big important things. I tried and tried to lift myself up but no matter where I turned, the only solution I could see was to run…run far away. My husband suggested that I really needed a break and he tried hard to make me take one, but how could I leave? No one knows these kids like I do and no one can do this job the way I can. But, how could I stay in the shape I was in? Mostly I was afraid that if I left for a break, I might not return! One day I even went online looking for a hotel reservation and planned my get-away. The thing that stopped me was the cost of two nights in the hotel I wanted to stay at. How could I justify so much money on myself.

I knew it was just the season, that as soon as spring comes all would be better in my world. I knew the things I was focusing on were just small and trivial. I loved my children and my life. So, when all looked the blackest…I did something bold. I actually ordered a nutritional supplement called Oxytocin Factor.  I had heard about it for a while in the adoption circles, but never could justify the price for a tiny bottle. When my “liquid gold” arrived I decided to also give it to my most traumatized child…little Miss B.

Within days, life was looking up. Little things didn’t bother me any more and I actually felt love towards my children. I hugged them more, loved on them more, praised them more. Little Miss B. felt better too and is now off of all restriction! I will continue to take this until my life becomes less stress-filled!

In the meantime, we have been busy spring cleaning in our spare time. The girls decided to paint a mural on their wall and I think it turned out great!

The boys are still working on their mural, but so far it looks great!

We went to the Boise aquarium yesterday and it was amazing! All 12 children were totally engrossed in being able to see and touch the fish, sharks, and sting rays. We spent about an hour there and then got some lunch.

Touching fish at the aquarium

Nic and Matthew touching the baby sharks and rays.

We also went and looked at a bus!! It is really beautiful, but I’m not sure we will be able to buy it. If we did buy it, we would be able to use it as it is and do the remodeling when we get to it. We have wanted a bus since the last two children came home, but it seems it has been just out of our reach. I hope this time we can make this dream a reality.

I  started this blog post early in the morning and it is now dinner time and I am sick…running a fever, etc. So, I’ll just get this posted and try and write again soon.

Yesterday more kids had colds. The last time I left my little Miss B. alone in her room, she wreaked havoc in there. This time, I left a slightly older sister with her, but one with RAD too. I thought perhaps the older one would keep an eye on Miss B. and all would be well. I know it is easier to pull someone down a flight of stairs than to pull them up, but I pushed the thought out of my mind…mostly because I saw a day without having to be hyper vigilant about watching Miss B.

My mistake.

By the end of the evening Miss B. had her sister doing all sorts of things that she NEVER does! I have no choice but to bring Miss B. out of her room so that I can supervise. I get so weary doing this and doing it alone most of the time. I HATE RAD and what it does to my children and to my life. I didn’t make this mess, yet I am the one who volunteered to clean it up! So…putting two RAD kids together and expecting them to choose to do the right thing is like putting two puppies together and expecting them to house break each other!!

Later on as I was reading my new local homeschool magazine I was struck by a sentence. The article was talking about living on one income and the blessings of limitations. The author was quoting Joni Earickson Tada who was discussing Philippians 1:12-14. “Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has actually resulted in  the advancement of the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard, and to everyone else, that MY IMPRISONMENT IS FOR CHRIST.”  I laughed out loud…my imprisonment is for Christ!!! All the weight of the burden that I feel is for Christ!! All of the RAD I deal with is for Him!! Doing it alone every day…is for Him!! This is all to some how further His kingdom…even with my shortcomings and my failures each day…it is all for Him!! My imprisonment is for HIM!

At that moment I saw just a slight glimpse of my mission here. I understood what I am doing here with all these children, alone. I don’t know how it is supposed to look in each situation with every child and I don’t understand why I am doing this alone. All I need to know is that this is all for Him.  Epiphany…revelation…hope.

Hope to face this new day and start again. Hope to dare to love those who can be unlovable and who will probably never love me in return.  Hope that the Lord I serve will be with me every step of the way, no. matter. what.

Hope!